hey... depression could be engulfing me

6:45 AM |

ARGH

I am so totally failing chinese this term...

oh crap. WHY AM I SUCH A EFFING PROCRASTINATOR???

i feel like effing shit.

why is it i always feel this way?

i am such a procrastinator...

i havent finished (or read) animal farm...cramming tmr

deh-ah-mnh-eh-l

i am such a loner...

i dont got no best friends...

shit i'm sinking into depression...

i feel like a shitty loser dictator...

DAMN THAT AYJ(ustin)T(imberlake). and no i'm not referring to the REAL JT.

... damn him damn him that gay sheet ("ee" pronounced as "ih")

it's like everyone has always got a better friend to hang out with than me... like they all already have their best friends and stuff

you(reader) ever felt that? i dont think so...

wanna see evidence?

jelly n zhi
colette liz n ghandi
car n char
claud n ralau
zenn n aud
rachew n jeru
carolyn n yan
grace n yun hua
etc.

what am i?
the extra that hangs around everyone and no one?
the neutral loner?
the versatile(used in a negative manner) extra idiot?

the last resort?

damn... do i have a dao face or just look eternally angry?

darn shit, i'm breaking into insecurity...

crap, could it be all the stress that i'm having?

no... maybe not...i dont think so...

it's always been like this... ever since P1

there i am... the hanger-on. left out and never considered worthy of anything. an extra shoulder for you to cry on then stomp on again.

i feel like shit. i feel so empty. ice cream dont work no more.

furthermore, what's this crap with my mom? i mean, first my first ever tae kwon do tournament, which, if i may add, i could have gotten gold for. and now... the china trip. i mean, wadda?
FCOU (for crying out loud), i am not five.

and what is this crap i've heard about me being a suck-up? i am not a teachers' pet. i do not suck up to teachers. what's wrong with liking to answer q.s in class? it's not like i piggyback them to the staffroom right? i am not THAT low. PUH-LEASE!!!!!!!!!

and y in pete's name didnt that certain some1 go to RV? FAIC, the someone (who if i may add has been complaining about it) could just go flirt with every1 of the opp. sex there!

i think i noe what the DISC report is saying now... i mean, you see the part about how u get along with other styles? i'm supposed to think the other D is a plain PITA. and I, S, C all also supposed to think of them negatively...

i admit it, i am a CONTROL FREAK, happy? a dumbass loser loner control freak dictator.